FML Listings

Toronto Real Estate at its finest

1 Bedroom, 1 Bathroom condo - $539,900.00

http://www.realtor.ca/propertyDetails.aspx?propertyId=11551788&PidKey=1323132541

1 bedroom, 1 bathroom condo for over half a million dollars at $539,900.00. And a nice and fair $949.99 in maintenance.   

Cost per month with property taxes and insurance (assuming you’re not using CMHC and have the 107k down): $3,430.00

This unit excludes the washer/dryer as the listing says.  But if you have over 3 grand to spend a month on a 1 bedroom condo, then I would assume you’re very financially savvy, not in debt whatsoever, so you can go buy a new washer/dryer with pure cash, not using any type of credit at all. 

3 Bedroom, 3 Bathroom - $1,150,000.00

http://www.realtor.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?&PropertyId=11792725&PidKey=-2038055033

Well, thanks to an amazing submission…. I bring you this nugget of fun and joy. This house was bought in 2009 (3 years ago) for $485,000.00, and the owner did about 60k worth of renos on it, then sold it last year for $780k. 

Oh wait… it gets better…. the new people that bought that house less than 12 months ago, did no renos to it, and have now decided to put it back up for sale, except now it’s for sale at $1,150,000.00.   

So for those not doing the math;  it made the original owner $235,000.00 in profit in 3 years. and one year later, it’s being sold for $370,000.00 more than the year before.  So basically, in four years this house has gone up in “value” from 400k to over $1 million dollars. 

We’re making people millionaires by making people house poor. 

We’re also making Realtors millionaires, very very easily.  I suppose this is why I have so many realtors emailing me saying that it’s actually a buyers market right now. If this is a buyers market, I’d love to see what a sellers market is.  

Toronto Maintenance Vs. Vancouver Maintenance

I want to do a blog post solely on maintenance fees in this city. Because if you thought just our housing prices were whack, you were wrong. 

The more condos I see and compare, the more I realize that maintenance in this city is craziness.  I spent a couple hours researching this the other day, comparing Toronto fees to Vancouver fees within condos of the same developer. And I noticed that for instance, a Concord Adex building in Toronto at about 820 sq ft, maintenance is $440-$460. The same unit in Vancouver and the maintenance is under $300.  In fact, I was hard pressed to find any maintenance in Vancouver that was over $500 a month if it wasn’t a massive unit. Meanwhile in Toronto, I can barely find a condo UNDER $500 a month.  So, what’s up with that??

Case in point:

http://www.realtor.ca/propertyDetails.aspx?propertyId=11659355&PidKey=-96853044

Here’s a 3 bedroom TOWNHOUSE in Toronto (not even a condo) selling for $1,120,000, and maintenance is $600.00 a month. Your total monthly cost is $5,400.00 a month with maintenance and taxes, not including $37,000 land transfer tax. 

To compare, here’s a townhouse of the same size in Vancouver (about 10 mins to downtown, the same kind of general area that the Toronto townhouse is in), and not only is it for sale at HALF THE PRICE of the Toronto townhouse, only selling for $519,800.00.  BUT maintenance is only $131.00 a month! 

http://www.realtor.ca/propertyDetails.aspx?propertyId=11765683&PidKey=1871129068

Even this crazy massive beautiful townhouse even closer to downtown Vancouver is 700k and maintenance is only $265.00 a month. 

http://www.realtor.ca/propertyDetails.aspx?propertyId=11830609&PidKey=-1517439797

I guess what I’m saying is, not only are you paying insane crazy prices that make you house poor in Toronto, BUT you’re also paying insane crazy maintenance!!  Are we a city of rich people with no care for money, or are we a city of people in debt, who are struggling to get by, but just hiding it really well?

I can’t believe I once again compared us to Vancouver, and Vancouver came out on top!!  Is Toronto officially the new Vancouver?  FML Listings is predicting yes.  We’re all eff’d. And it’s snowing right now. Double eff’d.

2 Bedroom, 2 bathroom house - $799,500.00

http://www.realtor.ca/propertyDetails.aspx?propertyId=11824131&PidKey=-368192126

Look at this gem, totally makes sense. $800,000.00 for a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom, run down house. Well, run down by the looks of the iPhone photos they took. We should all just start using Instagram for everything, it’s fine. 

I have no doubt I’m going to get emails from people saying “That house is worth 800k because it’s right near Withrow park!!!”.   I love when I hear someone trying to justify the cost of a house because it’s near a park, or semi near an already full school.  Enjoy your million dollar park. 

Here’s what this house should cost:
http://www.trulia.com/property/3081008358-4917-N-Hamlin-Ave-Chicago-IL-60625

That house is gorgeous, bigger, in better shape, and it’s 15 minutes to downtown Chicago. $299,999.00!! CAN YOU IMAGINE???  Ugh, I want to barf.

That means, if you bought the Toronto house you’d need a $159,900 down payment (assuming no bidding war, but don’t assume because it makes you an asshole or something like that).  So at current interest rates, and assuming you have no CMHC, and assuming you didn’t get into a bidding war - your monthly payment is around $3,600.00. Just for your mortgage, taxes, etc..  that doesn’t include your car, insurance, food, daycare, bla bla bla

Or if you were to buy the Chicago house you’d need $59,800.00 down, and your monthly payment would be $1,300.00 a month (give or take). 

(thanks to Colin for the submission)

Bungalow - $1,498,000.00

http://www.realtor.ca/propertyDetails.aspx?propertyId=11793421&PidKey=-1537426515

As I wrote this I actually rolled my eyes and sighed deeply, even though I’m alone right now and that doesn’t translate on the internet. That’s how annoyed I was at this. And let me tell you it’s really hard to get annoyed anymore because I see these every day now… so you can imagine how stupid this one is. 

That whatever bungalow up there, is listed at $1,498,000.00 at Yonge and Finch.

This sexy mansion in sunny amazing fancy Beverly Hills, California is listed for the same price. Beverly Hills! Like, 90210 and all that.

I know north york is all about “buy this house for re-development”, but seriously… all the little cute first time buyer nice houses are gonna go away, and we’re gonna be left with just monstrosities that are built like crap. They even have a word for this, it’s called “investor grade” construction!! It’s an actual real thing!  You’ll never know it’s built like crap though because don’t forget you can’t do an inspection in this market, it’s against the bidding war crazytown rules.

Toronto Vs Toronto


This city makes no sense, it’s so random and ridiculous.  Here’s an okay house in Forrest Hill for $1.5 million and here’s a crappy little bungalow in North York for $1.4 million.  

And here’s a ridiculously amazing house on the Pacific ocean in fancy-pants Malibu for less than both of the Toronto houses. Also seems to come with a giraffe in the backyard… I’m fine with that though.

http://www.trulia.com/property/154962-24742-W-Saddle-Peak-Rd-Malibu-CA-90265

10 bucks says the North York house gets into an awesome bidding war.

2 Bedroom, 3 bathroom townhouse - $1,270,000.00

http://www.realtor.ca/propertyDetails.aspx?propertyId=11706778&PidKey=467756316

2 bedroom, 3 bathroom TOWNHOUSE (I have a special distain for million dollar townhouses), for sale for $1,270,000.00 plus $1,379 in maintenance every month.  It’s boasting “top of the line appliances“… 

FML PROTIP: It’s cheaper for you to buy those Miele or SubZero appliances yourself (which I bet these aren’t) than it is to buy an overpriced house because it has those appliances already in it.  Write that down and keep it somewhere safe. 

So, if you have the $254,000.00 20% down payment (which we both know you don’t) - your monthly costs are $5,072.00 plus property taxes and maintenance.  You’re now hovering around $6,600.00 a month for your 2 bedroom townhouse. You must be a fancy empty nester.  This is like that Guess Who game.

Oh, it has a “shuttel (sic) bus!”… I wonder to where? And a “Flat top stove“… worth it!

Side note: What could $6,600 a month get you elsewhere?

You can buy this villa in greece, right on the coastline.

http://www.christiesrealestate.com/PropertyDetails/271480/1589480/1140/