1 bedroom, 1 bathroom condo for over half a million dollars at $539,900.00. And a nice and fair $949.99 in maintenance.
Cost per month with property taxes and insurance (assuming you’re not using CMHC and have the 107k down): $3,430.00
This unit excludes the washer/dryer as the listing says. But if you have over 3 grand to spend a month on a 1 bedroom condo, then I would assume you’re very financially savvy, not in debt whatsoever, so you can go buy a new washer/dryer with pure cash, not using any type of credit at all.
Well, thanks to an amazing submission…. I bring you this nugget of fun and joy. This house was bought in 2009 (3 years ago) for $485,000.00, and the owner did about 60k worth of renos on it, then sold it last year for $780k.
Oh wait… it gets better…. the new people that bought that house less than 12 months ago, did no renos to it, and have now decided to put it back up for sale, except now it’s for sale at $1,150,000.00.
So for those not doing the math; it made the original owner $235,000.00 in profit in 3 years. and one year later, it’s being sold for $370,000.00 more than the year before. So basically, in four years this house has gone up in “value" from 400k to over $1 million dollars.
We’re making people millionaires by making people house poor.
We’re also making Realtors millionaires, very very easily. I suppose this is why I have so many realtors emailing me saying that it’s actually a buyers market right now. If this is a buyers market, I’d love to see what a sellers market is.
I want to do a blog post solely on maintenance fees in this city. Because if you thought just our housing prices were whack, you were wrong.
The more condos I see and compare, the more I realize that maintenance in this city is craziness. I spent a couple hours researching this the other day, comparing Toronto fees to Vancouver fees within condos of the same developer. And I noticed that for instance, a Concord Adex building in Toronto at about 820 sq ft, maintenance is $440-$460. The same unit in Vancouver and the maintenance is under $300. In fact, I was hard pressed to find any maintenance in Vancouver that was over $500 a month if it wasn’t a massive unit. Meanwhile in Toronto, I can barely find a condo UNDER $500 a month. So, what’s up with that??
Here’s a 3 bedroom TOWNHOUSE in Toronto (not even a condo) selling for $1,120,000, and maintenance is $600.00 a month. Your total monthly cost is $5,400.00 a month with maintenance and taxes, not including $37,000 land transfer tax.
To compare, here’s a townhouse of the same size in Vancouver (about 10 mins to downtown, the same kind of general area that the Toronto townhouse is in), and not only is it for sale at HALF THE PRICE of the Toronto townhouse, only selling for $519,800.00. BUT maintenance is only $131.00 a month!
I guess what I’m saying is, not only are you paying insane crazy prices that make you house poor in Toronto, BUT you’re also paying insane crazy maintenance!! Are we a city of rich people with no care for money, or are we a city of people in debt, who are struggling to get by, but just hiding it really well?
I can’t believe I once again compared us to Vancouver, and Vancouver came out on top!! Is Toronto officially the new Vancouver? FML Listings is predicting yes. We’re all eff’d. And it’s snowing right now. Double eff’d.
Look at this gem, totally makes sense. $800,000.00 for a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom, run down house. Well, run down by the looks of the iPhone photos they took. We should all just start using Instagram for everything, it’s fine.
I have no doubt I’m going to get emails from people saying “That house is worth 800k because it’s right near Withrow park!!!”. I love when I hear someone trying to justify the cost of a house because it’s near a park, or semi near an already full school. Enjoy your million dollar park.
That house is gorgeous, bigger, in better shape, and it’s 15 minutes to downtown Chicago. $299,999.00!! CAN YOU IMAGINE??? Ugh, I want to barf.
That means, if you bought the Toronto house you’d need a $159,900 down payment (assuming no bidding war, but don’t assume because it makes you an asshole or something like that). So at current interest rates, and assuming you have no CMHC, and assuming you didn’t get into a bidding war - your monthly payment is around $3,600.00. Just for your mortgage, taxes, etc.. that doesn’t include your car, insurance, food, daycare, bla bla bla
Or if you were to buy the Chicago house you’d need $59,800.00 down, and your monthly payment would be $1,300.00 a month (give or take).
As I wrote this I actually rolled my eyes and sighed deeply, even though I’m alone right now and that doesn’t translate on the internet. That’s how annoyed I was at this. And let me tell you it’s really hard to get annoyed anymore because I see these every day now… so you can imagine how stupid this one is.
That whatever bungalow up there, is listed at $1,498,000.00 at Yonge and Finch.
This sexy mansion in sunny amazing fancy Beverly Hills, California is listed for the same price. Beverly Hills! Like, 90210 and all that.
I know north york is all about “buy this house for re-development”, but seriously… all the little cute first time buyer nice houses are gonna go away, and we’re gonna be left with just monstrosities that are built like crap. They even have a word for this, it’s called “investor grade” construction!! It’s an actual real thing! You’ll never know it’s built like crap though because don’t forget you can’t do an inspection in this market, it’s against the bidding war crazytown rules.
And here’s a ridiculously amazing house on the Pacific ocean in fancy-pants Malibu for less than both of the Toronto houses. Also seems to come with a giraffe in the backyard… I’m fine with that though.
2 bedroom, 3 bathroom TOWNHOUSE (I have a special distain for million dollar townhouses), for sale for $1,270,000.00 plus $1,379 in maintenance every month. It’s boasting “top of the line appliances"…
FML PROTIP: It’s cheaper for you to buy those Miele or SubZero appliances yourself (which I bet these aren’t) than it is to buy an overpriced house because it has those appliances already in it. Write that down and keep it somewhere safe.
So, if you have the $254,000.00 20% down payment (which we both know you don’t) - your monthly costs are $5,072.00 plus property taxes and maintenance. You’re now hovering around $6,600.00 a month for your 2 bedroom townhouse. You must be a fancy empty nester. This is like that Guess Who game.
Oh, it has a “shuttel (sic) bus!”… I wonder to where? And a “Flat top stove"… worth it!
Side note: What could $6,600 a month get you elsewhere?
You can buy this villa in greece, right on the coastline.
Sigh. 2 Bedroom, 2 bathroom house at Landsdowne and Bloor for $849,000.00. I’m super stressed because this is such a perfect house for a first time buyer, maybe small if you have two or more kids, but I think okay if you’re just starting out. However, it’s $849,000.00! You need $169,000.00 down payment, then per month your costs are almost $4,000.00, plus a massive almost $30,000.00 land transfer tax. This really sucks, this isn’t a mansion, it’s not in a foreign investment driven area like North York, it’s still a tiny house, it’s perfect for a first time buyer, it’s not really downtown, yet it’s still almost $900k. It should be 400k.
Ugh, whatever. I know this Miami house doesn’t compare whatsoever because the States market has crashed, especially Florida. But we can only hope that crash happens here (it won’t, so you can let go of that thought right now, don’t all giddy about it), then we’ll start seeing things like this (except replace the sunny weather, ocean, and beach for just gloomy windy Toronto. Seriously, why is it so windy right now??):
I don’t even know… I’ll let the realtor’s description in the listing just start this:
"Opportunity Knock (sic) Only So Often…First Time Buyer Price Point For This Trendy Area**Tons Of Potential For Developer To Build ** Fully Detached * * Liveable As-Is * * Mechanically This Home Has Been Well Maintained * * Walk-Out From Basement To Long Backyard * Plenty Of Parking * **** EXTRAS **** All Elf’s, Stove, Dryer"
So, first time buyer; it’s cool that your price point is 600k. You can’t go wrong with a mechanically well maintained home, whatever that means. Opportunity is definitely knock (sic) for this one. Bidding war guaranteed. Oh and “tons of parking” 2 full spaces.
Apparently also “liveable as is”, although there are no photos of the house, I put full trust in this realtor that this home is probably a gorgeous pot light infested newly painted clean designer show home inside. Who needs photos, right? The realtor wouldn’t be lying. My motto is, always trust a realtor who uses a lot of asterisks - they know what they’re talking about.
Here’s a villa in Greece for $600,000.00 less than this Toronto bungalow. I know it’s not a real comparable, but I’m itching for a vacation right now and these villa pictures are killing me, so I’m posting it and I don’t care that it doesn’t compare. Just enjoy…
Here is a really nice 2 bedroom, 3 bathroom house in Cabbagetown. In a normal city this would be priced at the affordable for a double income family probably mid 400k. But since this is Crazytown, it’s one million dollars. I know how wrong it looks for me to say this should be 400k, but if you look around at other major cities (not including those which have crashed in the States), you’d see that this size/type/location of house is in the 400s on average. We’re just so used to getting screwed here, that when I typed “this should be 400k”, even I thought that was way too low, even though it isn’t - it’s normal.
For instance, this house in a nice area of Chicago is 4 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. It’s around 10 minutes to downtown Chicago and it’s $399,900.00 which is a much more inline price to pay for a house that isn’t a mansion in a fancy area.
Honestly, who is buying all of these million dollar houses in this city?? I know it’s a lot of investors, I just don’t want to believe that an investor is pricing normal hard working people out of the market. I can’t believe all of my friends with really great jobs are buying houses in Scarborough because investors or people who don’t understand what “interest rates are going to rise" means, keep effing this all up for everyone else.
Whatever, maybe it’s the pot-lights and chandeliers that drives up the price of this house. That sounds like a hipster indy band name “Pot-lights and Chandeliers”.
This 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom house is in Riverdale, (which is not North York) and it’s listed at $795,000.00 with of course no photos. I smell a disgusting bidding war on this one, I can just feel it, it’s getting warm out and people are getting itchy to go into debt.
The house has one bathroom, that’s awesome for 800k. Also comes with existing heating/air conditioning equipment. Can you imagine you buy an $800,000.00 piece of crap house and the current owners are all; "Honey, is everything packed and ready to go?" "No, I just have to go rip this air conditioning system out of the house first, give me a minute".
**Update** As I noticed after I had posted this, and as many astute readers have just flooded my inbox with the fact that there is actually a massive hole in this house. It looks like some kind of tunnel or massive carport? I have no idea. Either way, it’s $795,000.00 for the top floor of a house, and a tunnel to the backyard in place of where your first floor should be.
This 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom townhouse in Moss Park makes total sense priced at $769,000.00 with maintenance at $806.70. You know after your 150k down payment, taxes and mortgage on this total to $4,000.00 a month. You could just buy a $1.1 million dollar house for those carrying costs, because maintenance really drives up the monthly price. I remember when they built townhouses and maintenance was super cheap, even if it was attached to a condo it still had a lower maintenance rate, but whatever. Who gives a shit anymore, right? We all have tons of money to just spend on anything we want, right? Especially as proven by the Bank of Canada’s report last week that the average household in Canada is at a 151% debt rate. HAHAHA oh man, this whole situation is such a shit show.
I’m really trying hard to find a townhouse somewhere else in the world that I can compare this too, but I can’t find anything anywhere (Spain, France, Cali, Chicago) that’s over $500k. Especially nothing so close to an awesome ghetto like Moss Park. So, I had to resort to Vancouver - which isn’t a fair comparable because they’re in a “worse market” than we are, right?
The listing says “Own a piece of the pie! Roncesvalles Village.”. How much do you think this Roncesvalles detached garage is, that “needs work” and is “being sold as is”?
I’m not even going to tell you the price. It’s days like today that I wish I had comments on this blog so I could read people’s totally way off guesses and their subsequent ‘holy crap wtf’ follow up comments once they see the actual price.
Here is a 2+1 condo downtown for half a million dollars and almost 600 bucks in maintenance. I don’t know if it’s a bad price, I’m so jaded now with all of these out of whack prices. What I do know is that the listing tells me that it’s “Perfect For The Yonge And Previously Yonge Professional/Executive (sic all over the place)”.
More importantly, if you’re a commuter - then this one is for you….assuming you work in Boston. Listing states “Commute To Boston/Chicago/New York/Montreal/Ottawa From Toronto Island Airport!”. That’s totally a selling feature. ugh.
Two for one today… I really wanted to post this one. It’s the new Parade building in Cityplace at Front and Spadina. I saw this 2 bedroom plus den and 2 bathroom for $419,000.00 and I knew something was up. Apparently, it’s 745 sq ft!! They’re fitting 2 bedrooms, a den and two bathrooms in under 800 sq ft now!!!!!!!!!!
Go look at the dimensions! Your den is 6 x 4! If you’re reading this from a cubicle at work, then your den is either the size of your cubicle, or smaller. I know someone with a 1 bedroom + den unit in the building next to this one, and their den is just an inset in the wall of their hallway.
More importantly, your master bedroom is only 8 x 8! And your living room is a terrible 11 x 9!!! Do you realize how small that is for almost half a million dollars??
Also, I love the listed feature of a “euro style combined washer dryer”. In reality that means there isn’t enough room for a washer and dryer, so they had to find a tiny attached one that would fit.
God, this one makes me so angry. It’s totally unnaceptable.
Well, here’s a ONE BEDROOM, ONE BATHROOM Candy Factory loft in Queen West, across from Trinity Bellwoods. It’s $639,900.00. At first I thought it was justified because maybe it was just a massive loft, then I looked at the dimensions… your one bedroom is 11x9. Not even a den or anything!!! Just literally one small bedroom, then a lofty living room.
You’ll need a $127,000.00 down payment to buy this without CMHC fees, and it’ll be around $2,500 a month in mortgage. Plus property taxes and maintenance, you’re looking at over $3000.00 a month to live in a one bedroom Candy Factory. OMG but how much fun does that sound?!?!
I love that the listing says it’s an ideal purchase for an artist. Because out of all the people in this city buying these overpriced homes, I know for a fact it’s the artists that can afford them, no problem. Artists in this city are thriving, they’re making like six figures a year. Guaranteed. Right? No? Ugh. Sorry, I’m bitter because I paint and I know how much artists get paid… they don’t.
So this listing is ridiculous. Like why not tell the truth… “This is the perfect loft for a yuppie couple who both have great jobs and a hefty down payment from mom and dad, don’t care about value, and like drinking coffee from fair trade coffee shops, complaining about first world problems while walking with their fair trade coffee, hanging out in Trinity Bellwoods waiting to to play tennis, and walking with your boston terrier down Queen West while buying expensive “vintage furniture” that was found on the road outside of the gutted north york bungalows." It’s the circle of life. (side note: I hate myself, because I like most things above. I even sadly like the loft. #Hypocrite)