Recent upgrades to this tiny bungalow (that has no photos) include finished basement. Dear potential buyer: I hope you enjoy paying $500,000.00 for a finished basement since that’s the upgrade that they’re throwing at you to justify this. I bet this house reeks of pot lights all over the place.
This is the perfect example of a listing that stresses me out, because it’s such a cute little house that a first time buyer might want to buy, but it’s A MILLION DOLLARS.
OMG I just saw that it doesn’t even come with a dishwasher. As if… like, i’m paying you a million dollars for your old tiny house, you can’t even give me a dishwasher??
Aaand, here’s a 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom super tiny condo at Yonge and College for almost $600,000.00!! After looking at so many listings, it appears to me that adding pot lights to your house or condo ups the value about $100,000.00. And when I say value, I obviously don’t really mean value.
Here’s another million dollar bungalow… what else can I say? I feel like I want to start putting offers into all these places at the price they *should* be, just to stress out the sellers/agents.
Today I went to an amazing open house at Don Mills and Lawrence, it was a post war back split, totally beautiful and very retro (if you’re into that). Listed at $629,000.00 and I asked the agent “You must be expecting a bidding war…” and of course he says “Yeah absolutely, we think it’s going to go for somewhere in the high 700s. We’ve already had a bunch of bully offers*”. I mean, what’s the point?! Stop wasting everyone’s time… it’s not some game, it’s 25 years of debt.
*Bully offer: An aggressive offer by a Realtor presented to the seller before potential buyers are even allowed to submit offers. i.e. on a listing sheet it’ll say “offers accepted as of X date”. But a realtor will put a very high offer in prior to that date, as to avoid getting into a bidding war with other potential buyers.
Here’s a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom house at Bathurst and Dundas selling for $829,000.00 that obviously needs renovations and a nice good scrubbing. The thing is though, this house produces… the listing says there are fruit trees in the front that luckily for you, come with the house.
The agent also wants us to know in his listing that this house is “a good value”. The only thing worse than these ridiculous listings, is agents treating buyers like they’re idiots and saying that their overpriced crap listings are actually amazing. (Note: I’ve actually received a lot of positive feedback from agents/brokers in the city who agree that these listings are ridiculous and thoroughly enjoy this blog. +1 to them, you’re on my good list.)
I would love to ask him if he honestly truly believes this is good value?? And if his answer is yes, then I have many crappy things of my own to sell him at his concept of good value.
Ah, Trinity Bellwoods. I love houses at Trinity Bellwoods, such a nice area with amazing shops and people. I guess that’s why they feel they can sell this totally needs a ton of renovations house for $739,000.00. The thing about this one is, even if it doesn’t get into a bidding war (which it will), you need like 80-100k minimum of renovations, so you’re getting scarily close to the dreaded million dollars on this. But the listing says that amazing modern clean and new furniture on the main floor can be negotiated with purchase, so that kind of sells it itself, eh? How could you say no?
I remember last summer when we were looking for houses in this area we were upset that all these old rundown ones were 500-600k. (something something missed the boat something… )
Here is a beautiful Riverdale semi… the perfect starter home for a first or second time buyer. How much would a first time buyer spend on a semi detached house? Apparently at least $700,000.00. I’m tired of sellers putting in “investor grade” renovations for 40k, then upping the selling price at least 100k. Note to buyers: It’s cheaper for you to do the renovations with your own contractors, than it is for you to pay 100k for the seller to do them, considering that 100k is now on your mortgage for the next 25 years for renovations you didn’t even do, possibly didn’t want, and are most likely not done to the best standards since they were just done to make a quick profit on the house.
No doubt this one’s going to bidding war. I’d be curious to see how much it actually sells for… I’m going to guess $710,000.00. I bet I would do really well on Price is Right. (If Price is Right were to take place in crazytown where money made no sense.)
Okay, I know I already posted one today… but then I saw this gem and couldn’t resist posting again. #BecomingObsessed
Here’s a townhouse outfitted with marble bathtubs apparently, selling for $728,000.00 at Dundas and Parliament. Is that a good area? I don’t even know…looking at Google Maps, it looks like it’s smack dab in the middle of Regent Park and Moss Park… so if you’re a crackhead with a large downpayment, then this house is totally suitable for you.
This property at listing price, is almost $3000.00 a month to own plus property taxes, with the minimum 25% down of $182k. #Why!?!
Mmm 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom, $700,000.00. “Same owner occupied since 1995" totally sells me on the fact that I should pay 700k on a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom house, that I have no doubt needs renos and will also probably go into a bidding war.
FYI, minimum down on this is almost $170,000.00. Which would then make your mortgage over $2,500.00 a month at the current interest rate, plus property taxes and all that fun grown up stuff. Oh, and, the Land Transfer Tax is almost another 20k on this property. Sigh.
Here’s a wonderful 1 bedroom 682 sq ft condo for almost half a million dollars. Apparently there is a 700 sq ft terrace though… so you’re paying half a million dollars for a balcony. Other awesome selling points? The master bedroom (see; only bedroom) is only 12ft x 8ft. Also, if you’ve seen these condos in real life (I have) then you know its proximity to the condo next to it, and maybe you’ll be one of the lucky ones that gets one of the units that basically attaches to the Hudson condos. No, seriously… these condos which are all glass, are actually maybe at the *most* 2 feet away from touching the Hudson condos right beside it. It doesn’t make any sense. But, what does make sense anymore?
If the balcony isn’t enough to sell you (and I’m assuming the agent thinks it is), and maybe the tiny bedroom isn’t enough… then for sure the extra $40,000.00 you have to pay for a parking space will do it for you.
I almost bought the house next to this one two years ago. It was a bit bigger and totally renovated, it was listed at $499,000.00. It was obviously insanely overpriced - half a million dollars for a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom (and the backyard was not accessible unless you walked through the master bedroom). But there was some weird charm about it that I loved. We thought may we could put in a lower offer considering it wasn’t worth half a million…and we didn’t realize the whole bidding war thing. We were naive and thought “half a million for a bungalow? They’ll never get that, we can buy it for a lot less if we offer lower”. (We were wrong, it sold for asking.)
I digress… I’m trying to say that just over 2 years later, the house next door to it which is a lot smaller is now for sale at $858,000.00! If you’re counting.. that’s a $359,000.00 rise in price in 2 years. Seems totally inline with inflation.
Remember when we were kids and you could buy those “surprise” bags in convience stores. They were a dollar, and you couldn’t see what was in them. But you trusted that there’d be some kind of candy and if you were lucky a really cool toy.
This listing is like that. Except it’s one million dollars, and there’s probably no candy.
$875,000.00!!!!!! I’m not even shocked anymore that this tiny 1 bathroom old house is so close to a million dollars. In fact, I’ve been looking at so many of these that if you asked me how much this was listed for without showing me, I’d probably have guessed close to this ridiculousness.
This reminds me of a house we were interested in during the Fall last year. A super tiny semi-detached (not being sold for land) was listed at $499,000.00 at Bathurst and Finch. We thought maybe no one would look at it, let alone buy it because the price was so out of whack. We thought we’d go check it out and maybe we could offer a bit lower if we liked it. Half a million dollars for a really old run down semi was not what I was prepared to buy, but I know the market is stupid so if I had to pay in the high 400s just to *get in*, then I guess I would have.
After going to the Semi’s open house, we discovered two things; 1) Even though it was ugly, old, super tiny and overly priced, the open house was packed with people. PACKED! So no one seemed to care about the price versus worthiness. 2) Not only was the house super run down (needed new floors, new kitchen, new painting, etc..), you couldn’t sell it for land value (it was a semi on a small lot), AND even though we were so sure it wasn’t going to sell… it did sell… in 2 days. The best part though was that there was a bidding war and this tiny little semi sold for something like $540,000.00. #WhoAreThesePeople?!
I’ll take this old 3 bedroom house in almost scarborough for almost 800,000.00 ONLY IF I can get the deer head in the basement with it. That’s worth at least 400k.
Does anyone remember 2 or 3 years ago when $800,000.00 was a lot of money that a) you probably wouldn’t consider spending on a first or second home. And b) If you were to spend it on a house it would have been something either beautiful and massive, or something in an amazing area. Or is that just me?
It’s in “The Village at York University”. Also known as Keele and Finch. Also known as Toronto’s ghetto. Does this mean that not only can I not afford to live where I want in North York because of the million dollar bungalows, and I for sure can’t live in my first choice of mid-town, I can barely live in Leslieville because of crazy bidding wars, but now I can’t even buy a reasonably priced home at JANE AND FINCH?!?! Is this what it feels like to hit bottom?
What do we have today? Oh, just the same nonsense as every other day. Here’s a bungalow for a million dollars. Sold “as is”, ie tear it down and build something bigger. I get that land is valuable, but some people just want to buy a small house… and not for a million dollars.
A while back we saw this amazing house being listed as a “demolish and build your own mansion”. The house needed work and it was already priced crazy, but not a million dollars, so we figured maybe we could buy it because it was in an area we really wanted to move. We considered it as a good option, except there were no showings, like you couldn’t go see it. You were purely buying it for land. EVEN if you wanted to actually buy it to live in it, you couldn’t (I guess unless you wanted to buy it sight unseen. Which I’ve heard happens as well). #Fail
Ok, so this one is bigger than the ones I usually post. BUT… let’s get something straight here… THIS IS A TOWNHOUSE. Why would you spend a million dollars on a townhouse with maintenance fees, when you can just buy your OWN house for a million dollars???
Maybe it’s because the ad says “Designed By Richard Wengle Architects!!" !!!!!!!!!!!! OMG OMG SO AWESOMESKJ!KJALKSJ~!!1
Or maybe it’s because it’s “close to transit” that makes it worth it. I used to live right next to these townhouses (or rather the houses that used to be there that they tore down for these townhouses), and I can tell you with 100% certainty that these are NOT *that close* to transit. It’s a 15 minute walk to the subway.
No comment. So stupid. And I don’t want to hear that “land in a good area is valuable” because this is in north north york, not near anything, not in a good area, not in an “upper class surrounded by mansions” area, not even near transit or anything, seriously nothing. $1,088.000.00 for a tiny old bungalow. #SoTiredOfThis
Oh, wait, I spoke to soon… it comes with a microwave, and a basement freezer! bonus. totally worth it.
When I list my tiny semi detached house for sale, I’m gonna list it at 900k just so I can punch in the face anyone who actually puts an offer in.
Today’s FML listing is my favourite one so far. It speaks for itself, I don’t even know what to say. THIS ONE BEDROOM ONE BATHROOM, is listed in “as is” condition, meaning it’s probably garbage, there are no photos - meaning it’s probably crap, the appliances are being sold in “as is” condition, AND it’s being sold as a “starter home” and it’s listed at a very very reasonable and not at all ridiculous price of almost $900,000.00. We can only HOPE it goes into a bidding war!! *fingers crossed*
Let me tell you something “first time buyer”, if this is your starter home… you need to get your priorities straight.
If you bought this house at current 3% interest with 200k down (the minimum down *which I assume you first time buyer do not have, so I should add on that CMHC fee to this), your monthly payment is over 3k (NOT including taxes)…what happens when interest rates rise? And don’t forget the land transfer tax on this property is another $27,000.00. At least furniture won’t be that much since it’s just a ONE BEDROOM BUNGALOW, FOR ALMOST A MILLION DOLLARS.
In today’s edition of nonsense real estate in Toronto… we have a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom… wait read that again. 2 bedroom 1 bathroom. bungalow with knob and tube wiring, and old carpet over old hardwood. Not upgraded, not decorated, bla bla bla the usual. Totally ugly gross little house being sold “in as is condition” lol. This one is definitely a steal at only $950,000.00.
Side note: after I posted the first ridiculous listing last week, I had no idea I’d be able to find enough to post one almost every day. And I’m not even specifically looking for ridiculous homes, i’m genuinely just looking for a house to buy. This city is eff’d up crazy :|
In today’s edition of Ridiculous Toronto Real Estate, I bring you this super duper tiny old bungalow in a regular crappy middle class old part of North York surrounded by other tiny bungalows and lots of renters. NOT anywhere near transit, NOT anywhere near shops, NOT renovated or upgraded in any way shape or form, and there is NO living room as it’s been converted into a bedroom. Oh but it does have a skylight. This tiny bungalow can be yours for the low price of only ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
(And if you’re counting, that means your deposit needs to be MINIMUM 200k, and your Land Transfer Tax is $32,000.00. )
In today’s edition of Ridiculous Toronto Real Estate I bring to you the condo that I rented two years ago that is now for sale. This condo is basically just a long hallway with a kitchen against the wall (no counters), and half a fridge (not enough room for a whole fridge). It boasts “an upgraded wine cooler in fridge” which is really just a dollar store wine rack sitting in the shelf.
It also has a “den” which is just part of the hallway open space… and the “second bedroom” fit our computer desk and a chair.. so it’s not really a bedroom. The most important thing to note is that the main living room is just part of the hallway and not really a room at all. Oh and the best part is that it’s attached to the garbage room so during those summer months your half a million dollar unit will smell like a garbage back up. yum!
This all can be yours for the low low low and totally worth it price of ALMOST $600,000.00. That’s right… you can totally own all of this hallway unit for over half a million dollars (Plus 500 bucks a month maintenance)
In today’s edition of Ridiculous Real Estate in Toronto, I bring you this tiny crappy little house at Yonge and Sheppard. Looks like the owners spent 50k on a new kitchen, hardwood, and painting so that they could sell their tiny house for 400k more than it’s worth at almost $900,000.000*
*Note, the sellers lowered the price to 869k a week later since this was posted.
This semi detached tiny house is $800,000.00. *Note that the image of the house is Photoshopped. It’s actually a super duper tiny semi attached to an old rundown brown semi of the same tiny size. They just photoshopped it to skew the image wider (as you can see)*
*Note: I wonderful real estate agent informed me that the image is not photoshopped, and that when an agent takes a photo vertically the system resizes it/skews it. Good to know that agents out there aren’t editing the photos to make them look wider when they aren’t. HOWEVER, devil’s advocate also says… if you’re getting 2.5% commission on this property when you sell it, I feel like the least you can do to make your money is take time to ensure the photos are sized correctly.