We should be so lucky to see more listings like this one pop up.
3 bedroom, 2 Bathroom totally reno’d house in a great area for $1.00. Either the agent is a genius, or is awesome at typos and not reviewing his work.
I’ve always said, let’s just price everything at $1.00, it’s less work for everyone - and since bidding wars are ridiculous and have no rhyme or reason to them, we may as well just start at a dollar anyway.
Speaking of bidding wars, I’m seeing less and less wars happening on condos. Mostly obviously because of over supply, in my building alone there are 45 units for sale. And in the building next door there are 28. The time is coming… mehehe
Boo… the agent changed the price to over a million dollars. Now I’ll never get it. Harumph. *Plays Charlie Brown music*
Semi detached house with no photos of course, I told you stop asking for photos, you don’t need them, how dare you think you have the right to look inside an over half a million dollar house you want to buy!?
Anyhoo, $615,000.00 for a 3 bedroom, 4 bathroom semi at *drumroll* Keele and Finch. Now that Scarborough is becoming unaffordable, Keele and Finch is all “Well if Scarbs can do it, we can do it”, that’s the mindset. Enjoy.
Side note: There were three sexual assaults in this area this week.
Side note 2: That first side note doesn’t really mean anything, because I live in what is apparently a good area near the lake where condos are expensive (but where are they not? - I rent though, obviously) and there are hookers living next door to me, two drug and gang raids in the past 4 months, there was a stabbing outside the bank on the corner here, there were 3 muggings in the area in the past two months, and someone stole the front wheel of my bike last week.
And in case you’re wondering, the Keele and Finch semi carries for $2,400 a month plus property taxes and insurance, so like $2,800 a month, after your 123k down payment. TO LIVE AT KEELE AND FINCH IT’S $2,800 a month!! It’s $115,000.00 OVER half a million dollars to buy a semi detached house at Keele and Finch.
Only 2 weeks on the market, listed at $933k, sold for $876k.
The going rate in this city for houses you can’t go into without a waiver, and an E.T. style venting set up because you possibly might die, go for almost 900k, plus a $30k land transfer tax and only takes two weeks.
I wish you could read this in the defeated bullshit annoyed tone I’m writing this in.
This is my absolute favourite thing right now. A wonderful submitter sent in this 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom amazing gem. Which of course has no pictures in the listing, but the submitter was nice enough to send some along! Weee!!
I don’t even know where to begin!! Apparently he had to sign a waiver before going into the house because of mould and other dangerously awesome nonsense. And if you read the listing it says: “There Is Level 3 Mould Contamination. Anyone Entering The Property Must Take Protective Measures (Minimum: N95 Mask)”. AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why is it so amazing? Because it’s listed at $933,000.00!! AND they’re holding back offers hoping for a bidding war. I can’t even write this post, I can’t even… I don’t honestly know what to say. I *almost* feel like someone is pulling a prank on me with this one. I’m definitely going to update once I find out how much it sells for. Stay tuned!
Thanks Jamie for this submission. If I could give out a prize for best submission ever, you would win by far.
So what’s up with these houses? Well, the house in Toronto is $698,000.00 and the house in Chicago is $249,00.00.
Why is the house in Chicago so cheap? Because it’s in the bad area of Chicago, where there’s crime, gangs, drugs, and all that fun stuff.
Why is this house in Toronto so expensive? Because it’s sandwiched right in between Regent Park and Moss Park, the just as bad area of Toronto.
So when people tell you that you’re just complaining about real estate prices in Toronto because you’re being too picky and only choosing “affluent” or “good areas” of the city to live in… you should direct them to this post. #TheresNowhereLeft
Here’s a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom ugly towhouse not being sold for land, and not in North York, it’s at Greenwood and Coxwell, selling for $609,000.00. Hopefully you don’t need a 30 year mortgage to carry this great value of a home.
If you don’t realize it when you first read it, $609,000.00 is $100,000.00 more than half a million dollars. I’m crap with math, but HALF A MILLION DOLLARS IS SO MUCH MONEY FOR A SHITTY TOWNHOUSE. And this is MORE than half a million dollars, and it’s not even in a sexy area!!!! What’s a sexy area? Why did I even say that. This is so awkward now.
Here’s a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom condo with amenities such as the “Lrg indoor pool" for $848,000.00 and $928.00 a month in maintenance.
By comparison… here’s some awesometowness in Mumbai written for you by my guest blogger today Aastha Lal, who’s also one of the funniest comedians in the whole entire world, ever. seriously. kinda. no, seriously.
The sold as-is 2 bedroom 1 bathroom house at “Yonge and Your-Kid-Can-Go-To-Earl-Haig” OR this “3 bedroom 3 bathroom 2.5 acre views of the ocean with a maids quarters mansion in Malibu”?
I know you’re thinking the Yonge and FML house but you’d be wrong this time! Psych! It’s actually the Malibu house… by $6,000.00. Malibu house is $1,495,000.00 and the North York house is $1,488,888.00.
Although historical data shows that homes in that Malibu area sell for under asking, and houses in the If-You-Think-Your-Kid-Is-Going-To-Earl-Haig-You-Need-To-Get-Over- Yourself area sell for over asking, so I’m calling this that Malibu is less money. Also, the Land Transfer Tax on the Spending-This-Money-So-You-Can-Try-To-Go-To-Earl-Haig-Even-Though-Private-School-Is-Probably-Cheaper-At-This-Point house is over $51,000.00! So, two bonus points go back to Malibu - therefore I call Malibu cheaper. FML Listings Proprietary Math formulas.
Another fun point I learned yesterday, the average house price in Canada is $375,000.00. And the average house price in Toronto is at around $600,000.00. Weeeee!
There was an article in The Star yesterday about gang violence in Regent Park. It’s pretty intense, you can read it here. This is a direct quote from the article;
“Gangs have traditionally split turf into north and south areas, with Dundas St. serving as the dividing line. Construction has thrown that into flux.
Sic Thugs are apparently sorting out who controls the new steel and glass condo towers gleaming in the rejuvenated portion of the Park. It’s there that another group, known as Click Clack, may also be involved.”
“Great opportunity to live become house poor in Avenue Road”. If you want to “live with wealthy people” at Avenue Road really bad, but you aren’t very wealthy so your solution you think is to buy a $1,249,000.00 3 bedroom 1 bathroom bungalow amidst other fancy houses… then you have incorrect life priorities, either that or you’re just doing it wrong.
You know what this is like? It’s like in Jr. High when all the rich kids got Air Jordan’s and I still had to shop at Zellers for those crappy velcro shoes (which are now cool if you’re a hipster +1), but my parents would spend the extra $5.00 at Zellers that they didn’t have to pay for the sub-fake-brand “Air Gordon’s”, so not only did I look like an asshole trying to fit in, but my parents also had to waste money on fake crap. This is the EXACT same thing. Almost.
2 Bedroom, 1 bathroom super piece of crap tiny bungalow at Mt Pleasant and Davisville, listed for an outrageousely ridiculous $599,000.00 and sold in THREE Days for $802,000.00!!!!!!!!! Who bought this?? I want to know right now who bought this, I want to have a polite and fair non expletive filled discussion with the new owner.
3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, middle of for real Scarborough (Pharmacy and Lawrence -also known as the new upper upper upper east upper beaches), with no photos, listed for a reasonable $649,000.00. Listing notes that the property has “Maney"[sic] possibilities. I bet it does. I really bet it does.
There is honestly not even a need for me to write about this listing today. The Realtor has done a spectacular job at comedy by himself…. even though he’s trying to be serious. Like, where would I even begin?? The fact that it’s being sold for land in the first paragraph, or the fact that it’s being sold to live in near the end of the paragraph, or the fact that you cannot go look at it in the last sentence, or the fact that it’s a 3 bedroom 1 bathroom for a million dollars, the offers to be conditional on viewing the inside even though he says you can’t see the inside, the smiley emoticon for no reason, the asterisks issue that’s going on?
Just in case you can’t read it in all of its glory in the screenshot of the listing, I’ve gone to the trouble of copy and pasting it: ”** 77 Foot Lot On Morgan!! ** Land Value Mostly ** Build Your Dream Home With Possible Circular Drive ** Fanatastic Location ** Surrounded By Expensive Homes ** Steps To Great Schools ** Why Pay 2 Land Transfer Taxes ? ** Build In Thornhill !! ** **** EXTRAS **** Pls Book All Appts Thru Office ** House Is Very Livable ** No Inside Showings Allowed ** Outside Showings Only ** Offers To Be Conditional On Viewing The Inside ** :-)”
What’s your house budget? Is $500,000.00 reasonable for a small first time buyer’s house? No it’s not lol, do you not read this blog?? I did some quick searching and saw that on MLS right now in Toronto there are about 700 houses for sale at or under 500k, but keep in mind a good chunk are priced at 475k or 495k so they’ll get into bidding wars and most of them will go over 500k so they aren’t really in your budget, and about 75% of them were either at Jane and Finch, super east Scarborough, Mimico, or Oakwood. I guess it sounds picky to say you don’t want to live in those areas even though you’re spending 500k, so I guess there are houses you *can* afford to buy in this city if you suck it up and move to those areas.
Conversely, there are 2,434 houses over 500k… and I’m not just talking Forest Hill. I’m talking everywhere, including the Junction, Leslieville, “Upper Beaches” (it’s so hard for my fingers to type Upper Beaches when my brain is telling them to type East Danforth Scarborough).
Lesson learned? If you want to be a cheap-o and only spend half a million dollars on a super tiny house, you’ll need to move to a kind of ghetto area, that your Lying-So-He-Can-Make-20Grand-Doing-Nothing-Realtor will tell you is gentrifying so it’s gonna be great, just give it two weeks, he promises.
FYI, for a 500k house you need $100,000.00 down. It’s interesting since the stats say that most people have closer to 30k down. I personally thought I had a pretty hefty down payment, but assuming I buy a 650k house (lol as if), the Land Transfer Tax and Closing Costs on that house take my down payment down by 30k, so if you think you’ve saved enough, I’d suggest saving at least another 30k, or use CMHC and pay interest for 30 years on the 30k you didn’t save, making that 30k eventually cost you closer to 100k. See?? Math can be fun!!
Here is a 4 bedroom, 4 bathroom cookie cutter suburban house in STOUFFVILLE for $639,000.00. What’s up with that? By the time you add GO Train costs on it, you may as well suck it up and buy in Toronto. But this house isn’t even walkable distance to GO, so I have no idea what they’re doing with that price, it’s almost offensive. No, it is offensive.
Or you can just move to LA, since this house is basically the same price, and will probably sell under asking.
(Thanks to David for this submission!)
I went to an open house yesterday in Leslieville (not even the good part of Leslieville, I don’t even know if I’d consider it Leslieville at this point), here’s a picture of the house:
That’s basically the whole house. No basement or anything, and the upstairs is just 2 small bedrooms. Note the width of the house, you can’t even fit a couch in there basically, and their dining room table is in the entrance way of the house before the living room. It also smelled like sewage. It was listed for sale at $688,000.00. Imagine what kind of asshole you have to be to say “i’m going to list my piece of crap condo sized house for 700k, because I know full well some other asshole is going to buy it”. I feel like I should have put an offer in at 100k just out of principle, but that still feels like too much money.
Look at this 3 bedroom house at Victoria Park and Danforth in The Beaches for half a million dollars. Oh wait, what? Vic Park and Danforth isn’t The Beaches? I feel like Realtors in this city beg to differ. Right now i’m noticing more and more realtors say EVERYTHING IS IN THE BEACHES. everything, I don’t care where you are. I saw a Moss Park listing yesterday in The Beaches, seriously.
So the listing says “5 min walk to the beach"… I wonder if he doesn’t realize that once you come check out the house you’ll see that it’s nowhere near any beach whatsoever. But he probably doesn’t care because he’s about to make 20 grand doing nothing.
Let’s put it to the test… is this house a 5 minute walk to the beach?
Weird, I was so sure Danforth was like 2 seconds from the beach, not half an hour like Google says. I’m sure Google is lying to me though. Let’s continue to trust these amazing Realtors in every single thing that they say without doing our own research, and while we’re at it let’s continue buying half a million dollar semi’s in crap neighbourhoods so we can keep driving up the market to beyond the most random level that it’s at right now.
I spent the weekend going to open houses, which I haven’t done in at least 6 or 7 months. Two things came from that:
1. Buyers… you need to do your research!! Just listening to people asking questions made me realize people aren’t doing enough research (if any) before checking out a house (unless they weren’t serious).
Case in point: Do not ask the SELLER’s Agent if the listing price is a good deal. He will (and did) say yes, obviously. But if you look on MLS, you would have seen it was 50k over anything else in the area.
Secondly, do not ask if a house will go into a bidding war from the Seller’s Agent… he will say he doesn’t know, or he’ll say no. Even though he’s holding back offers until Tuesday at 5pm to incite a bidding war. Either use your own agent (it’s free) or do your research. I’ve worked with Linda Wheeler at My Condo Network, who is the most amazing person ever, she’s on your side and understands the bullshit that’s going on. This isn’t an advertisement… I’m just saying, do not think you’re going to get a full honest story from a Seller’s agent at an overcrowded open house. One house I was in smelled like pee and smoke, and the realtor was like “Oh yeah don’t worry about that, you’re standing beside a litter box”. !!!!!! #ThereMustHaveBeenALitterBoxInEverySingleRoomThen
2. Anything east of the DVP is now considered The Beaches. I don’t care if it’s Leslieville, if it’s Danforth, if it’s Scarborough… it’s all The Beaches now. That commands at least 100k more because everyone wants to live in The Beaches. I give it two months before Scarborough Town Centre is the new mall in The Beaches. Oh also, Moss Park is now Riverdale. City of Toronto will be releasing new maps soon.
$1.4 million dollars for a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom bungalow that’s obvs in need of repair. Obviously it’s for someone with cash to buy it and tear it down and bla bla bla bla, but not the point! It should be 300k max! So people like myself or first time buyers can buy a small charming house. OMG so angry today, eh? Those open houses set me back like months in my real estate anger progress that I’ve made.
“Location, Location, Location Plus Imagination, Imagination, Imagination, Divided By Tlc With A Little Work To The The Square Root Of Future Equals Holy Cow, ***Ai Carumba, Wowzers Baby*** We’re Talking Big Dosh ;O))) **** EXTRAS **** All Electrical Light Fixtures; All Window Coverings; Two Fridges; Two Stoves; One Gas Burner And Equipment; One Air Conditioning;”
So this little 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom shed house not in North York, was on the market for 6 days listed at the more-than-fair-stop-complaining $775,000.00. It got into a wicked bidding war as it should have because of the amazing value obviously, and eventually sold (in less than a week) for $866,500.00. Almost 100k over asking.
I still want to know who’s buying these places… CMHC tells me you need a $173,000.00 down payment, and need to be making over $156,000.00 a year, and not have ANY OTHER DEBT. If I add any debt into the equation, then you no longer qualify and need to be making more than 156k. Maybe buy this house before you go buy your Audi that you can’t afford, just to make sure you get approved.
So Mr (or Mrs). I-Make-156k -A-Year-But-Am-Obvs-Really-Bad-With-Money… your land transfer tax is almost 30k, your mortgage payment is $3,500.00 per month at current interest rates on this 1 bathroom house (if I up the interest rate just one point, you start breaking the 4k per month mortgage payment), plus your property taxes and insurance, you’re looking at over $4,000.00 a month. That doesn’t include any of your own expenses, your food, or your Audi payments.
This blog post should be the definition in the dictionary under “house poor”. Either that or “I don’t know what things are really worth and I’m really bad at budgeting but I read Toronto Life and know that I should buy a house asap and don’t care that I’m going to be struggling for 30 years, god I hope I don’t have two kids who I need to put into daycare for $3,000.00 a month, and I hope they don’t take my Audi away, oh man remember the days when we used to go to shows, vacations, and restaurants for dinner?" but that’s probably not in the dictionary.
“Extremely rare opportunity to become house poorown a tudor style bungalow”. 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom perfect for the first time buyer $879,900.00. So that’s a $175k down payment, a 27k land transfer tax, and $3,500.00 a month for your mortgage, plus property taxes, plus your car payments, plus your bills, plus your insurance, plus your food, plus daycare, plus whatever else it is you feel like you should go into debt for and buy.
CMHC tells me you need to be making minimum 150k a year to buy this house, BUT that’s without any other debt. As soon as you add any debt (car, line of credit, credit card, student loans, etc…) you no longer qualify to buy this house. And this is all assuming it doesn’t go into a bidding war, which it will of course.
This is a 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom house at Bavyiew and Finch. Apparently it’s on a “ravine oasis" so that ups the listing price by like 2 million kajillion dollars. It’s listed for $2,450,000.00. I bet it’s near Earl Haig too! Best. deal. ever.
Here’s Pierce (James Effing Bond!) Brosnan’s mansion in Malibu, California, for $2,600,000.00. While not on a “ravine oasis”, it does back onto the Pacific Ocean… so I’m going to call this a “beachfront oasis”, and also has mountain views. Meheheheh it’s only like $150,000.00 more than Toronto, but not really because we KNOW that Toronto house is going to sell for like 200k over asking anyway.
Yesterday’s poll “How much did this bungalow sell for" was a failure once again. The winning result came in at $1,040,000.00 with 45% of the vote. That would seem correct (OR NOT) considering the house was listed at $899,000.00. But, the house actually sold for $1,112,000.00 after 7 days on the market. That’s $213,000.00 over asking, in case you’re trying to calculate it.
Here’s a 2 bedroom townhouse in the very sexy and classy upscale clean and safe neighbourhood near Moss Park, listed at $809,900.00. And a $573.00 maintenance fee. After you put down your $161,000.00 minimum down payment to live right near the Hells Angels headquarters (seriously, it’s just down the street) your monthly costs are over $4,000.00… To live in a 2 bedroom townhouse in a craptastic area. Did you feel your dreams just punch you in the face?
To compare, here’s the same size townhouse in West Hollywood (an amazing part of LA), 5 minutes to Beverly Hills, 5 minutes to the Sunset Strip, a view of the Hollywood sign, etc… and of course it’s $200,000.00 less than Toronto. And of course the listing has photos, unlike the Toronto property. Whatever you don’t need to see inside of the Toronto townhouse, you’re already asking for too much, you’re being so picky, you have no right to want these extravagant things!
I think my favourite thing in the world right now is that yesterday’s poll results “how much would you pay for this bungalow” shows that the losing option is 600k with only 8% of the vote. Why is that my favourite thing? Well, because the house was listed at 600k. Way to go everyone.
This bungalow near Bayview & Finch was listed for sale at 899k…and it sold in 7 days, but how much did it sell for? Vote below! (Note for estimation purposes, that the listing says it’s close to Earl Haig, a school that is amazing apparently but your kid isn’t going there because it’s full.)
How much would you pay for this 2 bedroom 2 bathroom bungalow at Pape and O’connor? When you start estimating please MAKE SURE you take into account that the listing says “close to a new Starbucks" - this is important in your estimation exercises.
Here is a 3 bedroom, 1 bathroom house that was on the market for 6 days for an outrageous $599,000.00. Although, I guess not so outrageous because some a-hole (or a bunch) actually ended up bidding $700,000.00 for it and got it. And… here are the info/photos from what the $700,000.00 house looks like:
Side note…. I spent most of my day yesterday researching some things, and while I can’t write all of it down because it’s no doubt boring, I figured people need to know at least the following - in fun easy to read numbered list form!: 1. Media is reporting that economists now say we are NOT in a bubble and there will be no crash here. (While I believe their can’t be a crash here, this still isn’t sustainable the way it is…)
2. Realtors and others are saying contrary to popular belief there is not a lot of foreign investment in Toronto (I wonder why CityPlace has ads running in newspapers in China then? and why they sell their units in China before opening them up for sale here? And why some lawyers I spoke with say that most million dollar tear downs are cash sales from other counties?)
4. The average household income is $77,000.00, yet the average house cost is now nearing $800,000.00
5. The average household debt is 154% (weeeee let’s all buy Porsches!)
6. The average downpayment on a house is only 6%
7. CMHC apparently is now at its maximum they’re willing to insure
8. Low supply is happening for a lot of reasons, but one reason being most people didn’t put enough down payment in their homes when they bought the past few years, and now don’t have enough equity to actually sell!! And if they do even sell, it’ll be too hard to get back in even though they’d be selling for so much higher than they bought, that’s how much prices have risen. This also means they can’t refinance should they have to.
9. Maintenance fees in this city average 50-60 cents a square foot (More than double vancouver, and more than triple Montreal *so stop emailing me telling me it has to do with snow removal.*)
10. “Pre-construction” condos which have always been significantly cheaper than resale, are now selling for more money than resale.
11. Out of the 3,424 houses on MLS 1,200 of them are over $900,000.00, 1,300 are over $500,000.00 and a paltry 600 are under 500k. *numbers maybe slightly skewed as I had to hand count since I’m not a realtor and don’t have access to their data*
This isn’t a funny post, I’m just at a maximum annoyance level with the rhetoric being spewed right now by Realtors, Lawyers, Economists, etc… saying that everything in Toronto is just fine and everyone who’s making only 70k a year should continue to buy a million dollar house.
It’s Friday!!!!! And I think it’s warm out! Let’s all drive our Porsches* to expensive patio dinners.
*Porsches are owned by Porsche finance, not you. (Thanks to ToSolds.ca for that 700k listing up there)
I read a few articles yesterday saying that Toronto is not in a housing bubble, and that everyone should just keep buying. Of course the people they interviewed for these articles were Banks, Realtors, and some chick who works for CityPlace… They also claim there is hardly any foreign investment. They should talk to the residents in CityPlace who know that there have been vacant units in all of the buildings for years, just because investors are just holding onto them. Or to the lawyers and realtors I’ve spoken to that have told me just the worst things I’ve ever heard about foreign investors just “needing somewhere to put their money, and not really caring where”. But, no no no… I’m sure the Realtor that works for CityPlace wouldn’t we be wrong, I’m sure she knows more than me, and I’m sure she believes we’re all really stupid enough to believe her. And I think some of us are stupid enough, otherwise these 600k 1 bedroom condos wouldn’t be selling.
Anyhoo…that photo above is for a 3 bedroom 1 bathroom bungalow listed for $949,000.00 which I can guarantee will go for in the millions after a most likely probably awesome foreign bidding war. Why do I know this? Because I’ve been following the Homes Sold (that’s the best site ever btw) in this area and I’ve yet to see any of them not go into bidding wars and not sell for under a million. http://www.realtor.ca/propertyDetails.aspx?propertyId=11887515&PidKey=-868049487
The realtor notes that “No basement, everything on one floor”. Amazing.
And, here’s what that price will buy you in France. Choose wisely…
2 bedroom 2 bathroom house in Scarborough for $600,000.00. Sigh, there’s nowhere left.
If we all have 600k to buy houses now, then why weren’t we all buying big 600k mansions 5 years ago when mansions were only 600k? I guess debt wasn’t at 154% back then… but don’t you all feel like jerks (myself included) knowing you could have spent 600k on a beautiful massive house since you don’t want to be smart with money, but now you have to spend it on a bungalow.
Not that this is comparable but the average house price in Toronto is now hovering near 700k….the average house price in Montreal is $312,000.00 and the average house price in Fredericton, NB is $159k… you could buy 5 houses in NB. You could be a tycoon!
So you need to be making around $144k a year with almost no other debt to now qualify for that Toronto mortgage, and you need $150k down payment OR To buy a house in NB you need a $10k down payment and need to make $48k a year.
In other news, the average house price in February in Vancouver was $823,000.00 and in March it was $730,000.00!! #ThisIsHappening
I’m gonna throw a huge Crash party if this ever happens (it won’t happen, don’t get excited).
This $800,000.00 3 bedroom 2 bathroom semi comes with two baby gates. FYI:
I know people are going to email me and say “but but but it’s at Yonge and Lawrence! Of course it’s expensive that’s a rich area.” Feel free not to email me that, because I don’t care. Because every area is a “rich area” now, and matter of fact a friend of mine bought almost the same house in this “rich area” 3 years ago for under 500k. Inflation does not equal a 300k+ price increase in 3 years, I don’t care how “rich” the area is. Did any of you get a raise that would mean 3 years ago you could buy something for 500k but now you make enough to buy something that’s 800k? (Not to mention this is obvious bidding war bait.)
This isn’t anywhere near the worst listing I’ve posted, but I’m posting it because it just sucks that it’s a small cute home not being sold for land, in a nice area, great for a new family… but still unaffordable to most people. And when I say most people, I guess that’s wrong since it’s going to sell anyway. So maybe just unaffordable to people who understand interest rates, what house poor means, and those who don’t have a massive down payment from their parents (generalizing, I know, but I’m jealous. Damn my understanding of finances, it’s truly a curse).
Everyone seems to think the solution is to move to the Danforth. Back in the day the solution was to move to Leslieville. Now that Danforth is busting, I’m assuming the new solution is Scarborough. I can’t wait for Pickering to happen.
1 bedroom, 1 bathroom condo for over half a million dollars at $539,900.00. And a nice and fair $949.99 in maintenance.
Cost per month with property taxes and insurance (assuming you’re not using CMHC and have the 107k down): $3,430.00
This unit excludes the washer/dryer as the listing says. But if you have over 3 grand to spend a month on a 1 bedroom condo, then I would assume you’re very financially savvy, not in debt whatsoever, so you can go buy a new washer/dryer with pure cash, not using any type of credit at all.
Well, thanks to an amazing submission…. I bring you this nugget of fun and joy. This house was bought in 2009 (3 years ago) for $485,000.00, and the owner did about 60k worth of renos on it, then sold it last year for $780k.
Oh wait… it gets better…. the new people that bought that house less than 12 months ago, did no renos to it, and have now decided to put it back up for sale, except now it’s for sale at $1,150,000.00.
So for those not doing the math; it made the original owner $235,000.00 in profit in 3 years. and one year later, it’s being sold for $370,000.00 more than the year before. So basically, in four years this house has gone up in “value" from 400k to over $1 million dollars.
We’re making people millionaires by making people house poor.
We’re also making Realtors millionaires, very very easily. I suppose this is why I have so many realtors emailing me saying that it’s actually a buyers market right now. If this is a buyers market, I’d love to see what a sellers market is.
I want to do a blog post solely on maintenance fees in this city. Because if you thought just our housing prices were whack, you were wrong.
The more condos I see and compare, the more I realize that maintenance in this city is craziness. I spent a couple hours researching this the other day, comparing Toronto fees to Vancouver fees within condos of the same developer. And I noticed that for instance, a Concord Adex building in Toronto at about 820 sq ft, maintenance is $440-$460. The same unit in Vancouver and the maintenance is under $300. In fact, I was hard pressed to find any maintenance in Vancouver that was over $500 a month if it wasn’t a massive unit. Meanwhile in Toronto, I can barely find a condo UNDER $500 a month. So, what’s up with that??
Here’s a 3 bedroom TOWNHOUSE in Toronto (not even a condo) selling for $1,120,000, and maintenance is $600.00 a month. Your total monthly cost is $5,400.00 a month with maintenance and taxes, not including $37,000 land transfer tax.
To compare, here’s a townhouse of the same size in Vancouver (about 10 mins to downtown, the same kind of general area that the Toronto townhouse is in), and not only is it for sale at HALF THE PRICE of the Toronto townhouse, only selling for $519,800.00. BUT maintenance is only $131.00 a month!
I guess what I’m saying is, not only are you paying insane crazy prices that make you house poor in Toronto, BUT you’re also paying insane crazy maintenance!! Are we a city of rich people with no care for money, or are we a city of people in debt, who are struggling to get by, but just hiding it really well?
I can’t believe I once again compared us to Vancouver, and Vancouver came out on top!! Is Toronto officially the new Vancouver? FML Listings is predicting yes. We’re all eff’d. And it’s snowing right now. Double eff’d.
Look at this gem, totally makes sense. $800,000.00 for a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom, run down house. Well, run down by the looks of the iPhone photos they took. We should all just start using Instagram for everything, it’s fine.
I have no doubt I’m going to get emails from people saying “That house is worth 800k because it’s right near Withrow park!!!”. I love when I hear someone trying to justify the cost of a house because it’s near a park, or semi near an already full school. Enjoy your million dollar park.
That house is gorgeous, bigger, in better shape, and it’s 15 minutes to downtown Chicago. $299,999.00!! CAN YOU IMAGINE??? Ugh, I want to barf.
That means, if you bought the Toronto house you’d need a $159,900 down payment (assuming no bidding war, but don’t assume because it makes you an asshole or something like that). So at current interest rates, and assuming you have no CMHC, and assuming you didn’t get into a bidding war - your monthly payment is around $3,600.00. Just for your mortgage, taxes, etc.. that doesn’t include your car, insurance, food, daycare, bla bla bla
Or if you were to buy the Chicago house you’d need $59,800.00 down, and your monthly payment would be $1,300.00 a month (give or take).
As I wrote this I actually rolled my eyes and sighed deeply, even though I’m alone right now and that doesn’t translate on the internet. That’s how annoyed I was at this. And let me tell you it’s really hard to get annoyed anymore because I see these every day now… so you can imagine how stupid this one is.
That whatever bungalow up there, is listed at $1,498,000.00 at Yonge and Finch.
This sexy mansion in sunny amazing fancy Beverly Hills, California is listed for the same price. Beverly Hills! Like, 90210 and all that.
I know north york is all about “buy this house for re-development”, but seriously… all the little cute first time buyer nice houses are gonna go away, and we’re gonna be left with just monstrosities that are built like crap. They even have a word for this, it’s called “investor grade” construction!! It’s an actual real thing! You’ll never know it’s built like crap though because don’t forget you can’t do an inspection in this market, it’s against the bidding war crazytown rules.
And here’s a ridiculously amazing house on the Pacific ocean in fancy-pants Malibu for less than both of the Toronto houses. Also seems to come with a giraffe in the backyard… I’m fine with that though.
2 bedroom, 3 bathroom TOWNHOUSE (I have a special distain for million dollar townhouses), for sale for $1,270,000.00 plus $1,379 in maintenance every month. It’s boasting “top of the line appliances"…
FML PROTIP: It’s cheaper for you to buy those Miele or SubZero appliances yourself (which I bet these aren’t) than it is to buy an overpriced house because it has those appliances already in it. Write that down and keep it somewhere safe.
So, if you have the $254,000.00 20% down payment (which we both know you don’t) - your monthly costs are $5,072.00 plus property taxes and maintenance. You’re now hovering around $6,600.00 a month for your 2 bedroom townhouse. You must be a fancy empty nester. This is like that Guess Who game.
Oh, it has a “shuttel (sic) bus!”… I wonder to where? And a “Flat top stove"… worth it!
Side note: What could $6,600 a month get you elsewhere?
You can buy this villa in greece, right on the coastline.
Sigh. 2 Bedroom, 2 bathroom house at Landsdowne and Bloor for $849,000.00. I’m super stressed because this is such a perfect house for a first time buyer, maybe small if you have two or more kids, but I think okay if you’re just starting out. However, it’s $849,000.00! You need $169,000.00 down payment, then per month your costs are almost $4,000.00, plus a massive almost $30,000.00 land transfer tax. This really sucks, this isn’t a mansion, it’s not in a foreign investment driven area like North York, it’s still a tiny house, it’s perfect for a first time buyer, it’s not really downtown, yet it’s still almost $900k. It should be 400k.
Ugh, whatever. I know this Miami house doesn’t compare whatsoever because the States market has crashed, especially Florida. But we can only hope that crash happens here (it won’t, so you can let go of that thought right now, don’t all giddy about it), then we’ll start seeing things like this (except replace the sunny weather, ocean, and beach for just gloomy windy Toronto. Seriously, why is it so windy right now??):
I don’t even know… I’ll let the realtor’s description in the listing just start this:
"Opportunity Knock (sic) Only So Often…First Time Buyer Price Point For This Trendy Area**Tons Of Potential For Developer To Build ** Fully Detached * * Liveable As-Is * * Mechanically This Home Has Been Well Maintained * * Walk-Out From Basement To Long Backyard * Plenty Of Parking * **** EXTRAS **** All Elf’s, Stove, Dryer"
So, first time buyer; it’s cool that your price point is 600k. You can’t go wrong with a mechanically well maintained home, whatever that means. Opportunity is definitely knock (sic) for this one. Bidding war guaranteed. Oh and “tons of parking” 2 full spaces.
Apparently also “liveable as is”, although there are no photos of the house, I put full trust in this realtor that this home is probably a gorgeous pot light infested newly painted clean designer show home inside. Who needs photos, right? The realtor wouldn’t be lying. My motto is, always trust a realtor who uses a lot of asterisks - they know what they’re talking about.
Here’s a villa in Greece for $600,000.00 less than this Toronto bungalow. I know it’s not a real comparable, but I’m itching for a vacation right now and these villa pictures are killing me, so I’m posting it and I don’t care that it doesn’t compare. Just enjoy…
Here is a really nice 2 bedroom, 3 bathroom house in Cabbagetown. In a normal city this would be priced at the affordable for a double income family probably mid 400k. But since this is Crazytown, it’s one million dollars. I know how wrong it looks for me to say this should be 400k, but if you look around at other major cities (not including those which have crashed in the States), you’d see that this size/type/location of house is in the 400s on average. We’re just so used to getting screwed here, that when I typed “this should be 400k”, even I thought that was way too low, even though it isn’t - it’s normal.
For instance, this house in a nice area of Chicago is 4 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. It’s around 10 minutes to downtown Chicago and it’s $399,900.00 which is a much more inline price to pay for a house that isn’t a mansion in a fancy area.
Honestly, who is buying all of these million dollar houses in this city?? I know it’s a lot of investors, I just don’t want to believe that an investor is pricing normal hard working people out of the market. I can’t believe all of my friends with really great jobs are buying houses in Scarborough because investors or people who don’t understand what “interest rates are going to rise" means, keep effing this all up for everyone else.
Whatever, maybe it’s the pot-lights and chandeliers that drives up the price of this house. That sounds like a hipster indy band name “Pot-lights and Chandeliers”.
This 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom house is in Riverdale, (which is not North York) and it’s listed at $795,000.00 with of course no photos. I smell a disgusting bidding war on this one, I can just feel it, it’s getting warm out and people are getting itchy to go into debt.
The house has one bathroom, that’s awesome for 800k. Also comes with existing heating/air conditioning equipment. Can you imagine you buy an $800,000.00 piece of crap house and the current owners are all; "Honey, is everything packed and ready to go?" "No, I just have to go rip this air conditioning system out of the house first, give me a minute".
**Update** As I noticed after I had posted this, and as many astute readers have just flooded my inbox with the fact that there is actually a massive hole in this house. It looks like some kind of tunnel or massive carport? I have no idea. Either way, it’s $795,000.00 for the top floor of a house, and a tunnel to the backyard in place of where your first floor should be.
This 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom townhouse in Moss Park makes total sense priced at $769,000.00 with maintenance at $806.70. You know after your 150k down payment, taxes and mortgage on this total to $4,000.00 a month. You could just buy a $1.1 million dollar house for those carrying costs, because maintenance really drives up the monthly price. I remember when they built townhouses and maintenance was super cheap, even if it was attached to a condo it still had a lower maintenance rate, but whatever. Who gives a shit anymore, right? We all have tons of money to just spend on anything we want, right? Especially as proven by the Bank of Canada’s report last week that the average household in Canada is at a 151% debt rate. HAHAHA oh man, this whole situation is such a shit show.
I’m really trying hard to find a townhouse somewhere else in the world that I can compare this too, but I can’t find anything anywhere (Spain, France, Cali, Chicago) that’s over $500k. Especially nothing so close to an awesome ghetto like Moss Park. So, I had to resort to Vancouver - which isn’t a fair comparable because they’re in a “worse market” than we are, right?
The listing says “Own a piece of the pie! Roncesvalles Village.”. How much do you think this Roncesvalles detached garage is, that “needs work” and is “being sold as is”?
I’m not even going to tell you the price. It’s days like today that I wish I had comments on this blog so I could read people’s totally way off guesses and their subsequent ‘holy crap wtf’ follow up comments once they see the actual price.
Here is a 2+1 condo downtown for half a million dollars and almost 600 bucks in maintenance. I don’t know if it’s a bad price, I’m so jaded now with all of these out of whack prices. What I do know is that the listing tells me that it’s “Perfect For The Yonge And Previously Yonge Professional/Executive (sic all over the place)”.
More importantly, if you’re a commuter - then this one is for you….assuming you work in Boston. Listing states “Commute To Boston/Chicago/New York/Montreal/Ottawa From Toronto Island Airport!”. That’s totally a selling feature. ugh.
Two for one today… I really wanted to post this one. It’s the new Parade building in Cityplace at Front and Spadina. I saw this 2 bedroom plus den and 2 bathroom for $419,000.00 and I knew something was up. Apparently, it’s 745 sq ft!! They’re fitting 2 bedrooms, a den and two bathrooms in under 800 sq ft now!!!!!!!!!!
Go look at the dimensions! Your den is 6 x 4! If you’re reading this from a cubicle at work, then your den is either the size of your cubicle, or smaller. I know someone with a 1 bedroom + den unit in the building next to this one, and their den is just an inset in the wall of their hallway.
More importantly, your master bedroom is only 8 x 8! And your living room is a terrible 11 x 9!!! Do you realize how small that is for almost half a million dollars??
Also, I love the listed feature of a “euro style combined washer dryer”. In reality that means there isn’t enough room for a washer and dryer, so they had to find a tiny attached one that would fit.
God, this one makes me so angry. It’s totally unnaceptable.
Well, here’s a ONE BEDROOM, ONE BATHROOM Candy Factory loft in Queen West, across from Trinity Bellwoods. It’s $639,900.00. At first I thought it was justified because maybe it was just a massive loft, then I looked at the dimensions… your one bedroom is 11x9. Not even a den or anything!!! Just literally one small bedroom, then a lofty living room.
You’ll need a $127,000.00 down payment to buy this without CMHC fees, and it’ll be around $2,500 a month in mortgage. Plus property taxes and maintenance, you’re looking at over $3000.00 a month to live in a one bedroom Candy Factory. OMG but how much fun does that sound?!?!
I love that the listing says it’s an ideal purchase for an artist. Because out of all the people in this city buying these overpriced homes, I know for a fact it’s the artists that can afford them, no problem. Artists in this city are thriving, they’re making like six figures a year. Guaranteed. Right? No? Ugh. Sorry, I’m bitter because I paint and I know how much artists get paid… they don’t.
So this listing is ridiculous. Like why not tell the truth… “This is the perfect loft for a yuppie couple who both have great jobs and a hefty down payment from mom and dad, don’t care about value, and like drinking coffee from fair trade coffee shops, complaining about first world problems while walking with their fair trade coffee, hanging out in Trinity Bellwoods waiting to to play tennis, and walking with your boston terrier down Queen West while buying expensive “vintage furniture” that was found on the road outside of the gutted north york bungalows." It’s the circle of life. (side note: I hate myself, because I like most things above. I even sadly like the loft. #Hypocrite)
Thanks to “S” for sending in this feature sheet, letting us know that this bungalow with no photos, a crap description other than “no survey available” (awesome), was on the market for sale at $895,000 and sold for $1,118,800.
People say we’re a world class city and that’s why real estate is so expensive here. That makes sense(?). So why don’t I compare this to another bungalow in a world class city? Wikipedia says New York, London, Tokyo, Paris, Hong Kong, and Chicago are the top 6 world class cities. Toronto ranks 14th, under Washington D.C.
Here’s a home in Chicago, actually it’s in Oak Park which is a wealthy suburb of Chicago. Just as this North York bungalow is in the suburbs. This Oak Park home features 4 bedrooms, 3.5 baths, and is described as an English Manor, it has 16 photos (as opposed to the one photo from North York). Designer kitchen, fireplace, excercise room, loft, etc… and it’s priced at $799,000.00 which is over $300,000.00 less than the North York bungalow that you’re going to pay to tear and down and rebuild over.
And I know this Chicago home is not a bungalow, but I honestly couldn’t find a comparable bungalow unless I dropped the price to under 400k. Aaaand that makes so much sense, that it hurts.
Also, important fact: Oak Park is where Home Alone was filmed.